My Journey of Spiritual Awakening: From Breakdown to Breakthrough

When Everything Fell Apart: The Start of My Spiritual Transformation

I turned 30 in October 1999. I remember waking up on my birthday with what I thought was just the flu, but it lingered. By February, my health had significantly deteriorated.

My 90-minute commute to work, followed by long, intense days, left me utterly depleted. I was constantly battling painful muscle cramps, extreme sensitivity to light and sound, and a sense of overwhelm that never lifted. I’d sit at my desk feeling crushed by the emails piling up, silently praying the phone wouldn’t ring, and when it did, I’d burst into tears. I simply couldn’t cope anymore. Eventually, I had to resign.

A Diagnosis, But No Roadmap to Recovery

Initially, I assumed it was stress. I took two weeks off to rest, but nothing improved. After multiple visits to the doctor, I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome and Coeliac Disease. It would take years before I understood I also had burnout.
There was no clear treatment plan. No pill. No guarantee I’d get better.

Overnight, my world fell apart. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t go out. I was back living with my parents, stripped of the identity I had clung to, the independent, party-loving, capable, driven woman with a well-paying job. Even some friends drifted away, unsure what to do with the “new” me, the one who couldn’t party, couldn’t be their usual source of support and fun.

Facing the Dark Night of the Soul

I’d been accepted onto a psychology and counselling bachelor’s degree course starting later that year, something I was so excited about. But it now felt entirely out of reach. I was left feeling frightened, confused, and deeply alone.
This was my first dark night of the soul. It felt like a curse. Something that might ruin my life if I let it.

Choosing to Heal: A Turning Point in My Journey

And so I made a decision. I was going to heal, no matter how long it would take. I was determined to reclaim my life. I started with psychotherapy, something I’d avoided until that point. It gave me space to process my loss of identity and begin shifting my mindset and patterns of behaviour.

Then, a woman who offered Indian Head Massage and made home visits introduced me to Reiki and the concept of “universal energy.” I began receiving regular healing sessions. I was fascinated. I started reading spiritual books, watching Oprah, and learned to meditate.

The First Glimmers of Awakening

In those quiet, solitary moments, something began to stir within me. A connection to something greater than myself, not religious, but spiritual. This was the beginning of my spiritual awakening.

I saw a nutritionist and radically changed my diet too. It was a big shift, but I knew my body needed all the help it could get. Slowly, my energy began to return.
I listened to the quiet whispers of my soul and did what made my heart sing, something I had ignored for years in favour of productivity and logic.

A New Path Unfolds

By September, I was well enough to start the degree course. And the journey that would lead to discovering angels, energy healing, and a spiritual path that was authentic to me had truly begun.

Are You Navigating Your Own Spiritual Awakening?

If you’re in a time of transition, healing, or spiritual awakening, know that you’re not alone. I offer soul-led support for midlife women who want to reconnect with themselves, deepen their spiritual path, and flourish.

Thank you for reading.

Blessings,

Catherinex

Would you love to reconnect with your inner wisdom and feel supported on your path?